His Daughter

(Just want to save the lyrics of this beautiful song here.. for future reference)

“Everything’s gonna be alright.”
She whispers to herself.
She was only 6 years old that night.
As she hid behind that shelf.
Cause daddy had a little too much to drink.
And mama didn’t want her to feel the pain she felt.
But she still felt the pain…

Well 10 years they came and went,
And dad was gone.
So she looked for love in other men.
And tried to act strong.
Oh, broken hearts and Scars in only places she could see.
Cause she just wanted, she just wanted to feel something.

And as she sat there on her bed,
Thinking bout what those girls said,
Tears streamed from her eyes.
She cried…

“If there’s a God out there
Please hear my prayer.
I’m lost and I’m scared,
And I’ve got nowhere else to go.
I’ve come a long, long way.
But I’m not sure I can make it much farther…
So if you’re listening, could you give a helping hand.
To your daughter.”

Well her path started to change.
She reached out and grabbed God’s grace.
And finally, she saw a light.
Until that night…
Where she decided one drink was alright,
And one thing led to another.
Next thing you know, 9 months go by,
She’s a mother.

And as she laid there in that bed.
Stroking that small angel’s head.
Tears streamed from her eyes.
She cried…

“If there’s a God out there.
Please hear my prayer.
I’m lost and I’m scared,
And I’ve got nowhere else to run.
I’ve come a long, long way.
But I’m not sure I can be the best mother…
So if you’re listening, could you give a helping hand.
To your daughter.”

Well that baby grew into a boy.
Who became her pride and joy.
He loved her like no man could.
And her heart felt peace, cause she finally understood.
God’s love.

So as she laid there in that bed,
99 years old.
She grabbed her son’s hand and said.
“There’s something you must know…”

“There is a God up there.
Who heard my prayer.
I was lost and afraid.
And I had nowhere else to go.
I had no clue, what to do
And then He sent me you.”

So if you’re lost and afraid,
And you feel so alone,
Don’t worry child,
Cause there’s a Father who will love you as His own.

Just like he loved his daughter.
Like he loved His daughter.

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Consistency Is So Manly

joenasandiego

Nothing I love more than living under your consistency.

Consistency

Your consistency is so beautiful.

When I don’t..

When I don’t want to dress up. When I don’t want to be artsy. When I don’t feel beautiful. When I don’t want to go outside. When I don’t feel positive. When I don’t want to talk about it. When I don’t want to go with your plans. When I don’t fulfill my words. When I don’t reply to your messages. When I don’t answer your calls. When I don’t move in quiet and gentle spirit. When I don’t want to go out of my comfort zone. When I don’t accomplish anything right.

When I don’t trust your promises. When I don’t have faith in your plans. When I don’t want to love.

I heard you said firmly, “Beloved, I’ll still stay with you.”

How did you manage to stay when it was so easy…

View original post 404 more words

Puso, Hindi Siya Para Sayo.

joenasandiego

Hindi ko alam kung bakit paulit-ulit. Bakit paulit-ulit mong hinihiling ‘to?

Puso, hindi siya para sayo.

Processed with VSCOcam with m5 preset

Hindi para sayo ang lugar na ‘to. Hindi para sayo ang pagyaman na gusto mo. Hindi para sayo ang sakit na paulit-ulit mong inaayawan pero paulit-ulit mo ring binabalikan.

Tama na. Hindi siya para sayo.

Kagabi sinabi mo, “Konti pa. Kakayanin ko pa.”

Hindi mo ba naiintindihan? Hindi mo kaya. Kailangan mong tanggapin na hindi mo kaya. Kailangan mong tanggapin na mahina ka. Kailangan mong tanggapin na hindi mo kaya mag-isa. Kailangan mong malaman na minsan sa pagsuko, dun pa tayo lalaya.

Lalaya sa lahat ng sakit.

Suko na, puso. Hindi na natin kaya.

Hindi na natin naiintindihan. Hindi na natin kaya magmahal. Hindi na natin kaya magtiwala. Hindi na natin kaya umasa.

Suko na. Hindi na kaya.

Ngayong gabi, tawagin natin ang Diyos.

Sabihin natin ang lahat ng sakit. Magsumbong tayo. Sabihin natin kung…

View original post 584 more words

There Will Be A Day

There will be a day

When I will stop wondering

What you are doing and who you are with

If you are with her

 

There will be a day

When I will stop visiting

Your social media accounts

Just to keep myself updated about you

 

There will be a day

When I will stop assuming

That you like me too

Just maybe

 

There will be a day

When I will stop hoping

That there can be us

Because that’s insane for me to think

 

There will be a day

When I will not be used to anymore

Of the things you do that I shouldn’t have been used to

No, I wont long for it anymore

 

But when that day comes

I hope that doesn’t mean

I will stop caring for you

When God Breaks Your Heart (and Crushes Your Idols)

ARABY

            At a time when I least expected heartbreak, that’s when it came.

           Like some unforgiving calamity, pain ravaged my insides as I, shaken and half-believing, trudged my way home that fateful evening. I walked past bright neon lights amidst bewildered strangers who can’t help but cast a weird look upon me – all tear-drenched, distressed, and distraught. My appearance was the least of my cares, anyway. All I managed to ask amidst the struggle for consoling thoughts, the hopelessness, and the searing pain deep within me was, “God, why are you breaking my heart?”
 

           Within the next second, He gave me a reply that I was not quite prepared to receive:

            “…because the idol is in there.”

—————————————————————-

 

               In a day and age where people no…

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I Will Never Pursue You

ARABY

Maybe I’m beginning to like you a lot,
but I will never pursue you.
 
 
Around me, I’m tempted by all these pawns
calling me to use them,
looking me in the eye, saying
maybe you and I can ”accidentally” bump into each other in a coffee shop;
maybe we can schedule “friendly dates” with a bunch of conniving friends;
maybe I can start “innocent” topics with you over that gleaming chat box,
ask you things that no one would brand as bad,
I can even send you “wrong sends.”
But even this early, I realized
that albeit pawns are the most numerous pieces in a game,
at the end of the day,
they are but
the weakest.

 first-line-pawn--large-msg-1133112801-2
 
























Don’t get me wrong -
I want to be with you.
Just to get to know you more,
I am ready to manipulate
so many things -
things…

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A Letter to My Future Partner 02

To my future partner,

I am writing to you today because I want to be honest with you.

I wanted to tell you that I have gotten over the guy I liked for more than half of my college life. Yes, he’s nice, but he likes one of my closest friends. I needed to stop. I love my friend dearly and I don’t want to have any feeling of bitterness towards her, even though I know she doesn’t like the guy back. I value the friendship we have… a lot. At first, it broke my heart, but then I realized this heartbreak is just leading me to you.

But that’s not it.

In church, my church mates have been teasing me, the oldies and the young ones, with another guy. I admire this person ever since I met him, but I never had any deeper feelings for him until lately. I just realized that he has almost everything I am looking for an ideal partner. He has always been someone I look up to. He has set a very good example of a child of God. I really admire him. People have been telling me we look good together, but I keep on telling them that what we have is just platonic. I really didn’t want to entertain the thought of it, because it felt like I’m committing a sin, but as people keep on reminding me about it, I get to have thoughts of it. I even thought that he’s you. But then, I think I’m not good enough for him. He deserves a woman better than I am. Neither do I see hope for me and that guy. I guess, I’m just not good enough… for him.

I’m telling you this to ask for forgiveness. Forgive me for my weakness. Forgive me for being unfaithful. Please do continue to pray for and with me as I am struggling now. You know how much I desire to be the woman God wants me to be. Looking back, I just realized I really am not yet ready to meet you. God is still molding me and preparing me before I get to know you. If you are someone I’ve met before or someone I will meet in the future, only God knows, that doesn’t matter to me right now. What matters most right now is that I be the woman God wants me to be, the one you deserve.

God bless the road that will lead us to each other.

Happiness in Little Things

Today, I attended a Bible study/devotion with a care group in school led by my former professor. Before the devotion started, one by one, we were asked about the highlight and “downlight” of our week. When it was my turn, at first, I couldn’t think of the highlight yet, so I just thought of what makes me happy at that moment. Then it came to my mind. I said, “My week’s highlight is that I got my graduation pictures already.” Then one guy from the group said, “Is that already the highlight?” It made me think about what I just said. How could it be that the guy reacted like that? It’s like he was thinking that my happiness is shallow.

Then, just now, I thought about it again and had some realizations. Yes, it was just a small thing to be considered a highlight of my week. It might be shallow for others, but does it have to be really that great to be considered a highlight? I guess it’s just about finding the good even in small things. I think it’s just finding happiness even in small things.

It’s like getting used to the everyday blessings we receive from God. In every blessing that we receive, no matter how big or small, we should be thankful for them. Not because we receive it everyday and not because the blessing is small, we won’t feel grateful anymore. People do not know that one of the secrets in joyful living is being thankful for every thing even the little things. The problem is, most people tend to wait for greater things to happen before they feel grateful.

Now, I pray that my eyes and heart will be open to the good in everything and find happiness even in the little things. That’s joy.

Math: My Feelings and Experiences

(This was an assignment essay in our Math 1 class. We were asked to share our feelings, opinions, views and experiences in and with Math. So here it goes…)

Math was a subject I didn’t like that much when I was a little kid. Yes, I could add, subtract, multiply and divide, simple arithmetic, but I could not do them as fast as my classmates could and I really felt envious of them for that matter. I was unconsciously expecting a lot from myself back then… with Math, which I find now a funny thing I did in the early years of my life.

I could still remember, it did not become quite easy for me to memorize the multiplication table. Really. When I was in second grade, we often had recitations where in each one in the class will be called in front to recite the multiplication table. I could still remember how happy I was when my teacher asked me to recite the multiplication table of 9, because for me it was the easiest.

When I was in third grade, I was included in the pilot or cream section and there I met kids who are enrolled in Kumon. They could compute really fast and I was like, “Hey, I do not belong to this section.” I wanted to be like them, but I knew that time, my parents could not afford to enroll me in Kumon, so I just hoped that every school could give their students exercises similar to that given in Kumon.

I also remember myself crying over an assignment about fractions when I was in fourth grade. I asked for help from my sister, but she said, “Answer your assignment yourself, then I’ll check it afterwards.” She never told me the right answers for those I got wrong. She kept on letting me repeat my computations until I got the right answer. I cried because I got too tired of computing over and over. I wanted to give up and just pass my assignment with wrong answers, but my sister wouldn’t. This is one of the experiences I will never ever forget.

I did not hate Math unlike most of the other kids in my time, even at this time. It’s just that it was not my favorite subject. My experiences in Math in the years that followed were actually fine. I got to have good grades, better than my other subjects, though I wasn’t one of the best in our class. I never failed in any of my Math subjects in grade school and in high school, though I might have failed some of my quizzes.

When I got into college here in UP, Math, again, was really memorable. A lot of thanks to Math 17 for I got my first ever uno in college. Also, how I could I forget Math 53? Thank you, Math 53! I got my one and only singko! At first, I hated Math 53, but after some time, I learned to accept it and realized that I should have done better. Those were the times when I wondered how and where can a normal person use differentiation and integration. Then, I thought after finishing the Math 50 series, I could now say my warm goodbyes to Math, but no. In my higher Computer Science (CS) subjects, there were also Math and they were not so easy. Now, I’m taking my last Math subject as a student, Math 1, and I find it somewhat funny because it is about Math appreciation. Maybe I really need this to really appreciate Math and the experiences I had with it.

Despite my unforgettable, hard, sad and painful experiences in Math, of course there’s still a reason for me to give Math my sincerest gratitude. I believe I passed UPCAT because of Math. Now, assessing myself after taking all those Math subjects for 17 years of studying (from Nursery to my last year in college), I know I’m not a genius in Math, but I could count myself in to those who give effort in Math.